OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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