There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
