I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I am mentally ready for anal.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
