in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
