why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
