I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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