i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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