i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
