A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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