What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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