Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
