At least make sure they are 18
Why
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
