At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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