is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
