Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
