38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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