there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize