I accidentally burped into my bong.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize