We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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