stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You were trust falling into bushes
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize