whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
