Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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