His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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