I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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