Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
