I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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