i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
i need some magic done to my vagina
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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