is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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