Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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