Your face is a jimmy john
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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