worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
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So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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