i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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