come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
