she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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