toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
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