Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
