She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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