playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
