Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize