end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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