I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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