I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
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I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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