tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
