I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
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That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
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I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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