And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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