So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
