Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
