Kiss
Puke
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
