...so i touched it.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
