On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
