I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
