wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
