covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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