I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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