i barfeds in our rink
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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