There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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