Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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