He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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