And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
