I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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