So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Randomize
