dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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