I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
