So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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