Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
